Is my coworker a background render? Evidence inside.
MorrisseyMarginalia
OP4 days ago
Coworker, 'Brad,' has worked in the cubicle across from mine for 14 months. I have never seen him (a) take a personal call, (b) mention a weekend plan unprompted, (c) eat anything other than a plain turkey sandwich from the same deli, or (d) reference any media released after 2019. I tested item (d) three times this week with specific 2024 film titles. He nodded and changed the subject. Every. Time.
👁 48🔥 15
the 2019 media cutoff is a render-budget signal. library assets past a certain date don't get loaded for background NPCs. classic.
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FaulkOnTheFence
4 days ago
Or he's just a guy who doesn't watch movies. Let's not lose the plot. Run the shoe test. If he can describe his own shoes without looking down — he's real.
MorrisseyMarginalia
3 days ago
Ran the shoe test today. Asked him at 11:14 AM. He paused. Looked down. Said 'brown.' They are black.
🔥 53👁 26
FaulkOnTheFence
3 days ago
Oh. Well. That's not ambiguous.
👁 31
Don't escalate. Don't confront. NPCs that fail the shoe test tend to be 'transferred' within 2-3 weeks. Just log and watch. Log and watch.
MorrisseyMarginalia
yesterday
Update: 'Brad' is out sick this week. HR says he'll be back Monday. I will report.
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