LEGAL
Terms of Service
Last revised: as needed. We reserve the right.
§1. Acceptable Use
This outlet is provided for informational and research purposes. You may browse, share, and reference content published here, provided you do not remove attribution, misrepresent the source, or use the content to harass specific individuals. Automated scraping of this site is permitted only at rates that do not degrade availability for other users. We consider this a reasonable request. Act accordingly.
§2. Content Disclaimer
The observations presented here are the observations of the observers. They are reported in good faith as observations, not as verified facts, scientific findings, or medical advice. The Theory Is Real is a satirical publication. We are aware that some of our readers are aware of this, and some are not, and we ask the former to be patient with the latter. No content on this site is intended to incite harm, attribute specific criminal conduct to real individuals, or replace the advice of licensed professionals in any field.
§3. Products — Satire Notice
All products offered in this shop are satirical novelty items. They are not intended for actual protective use of any kind, and make no genuine claims of efficacy against electromagnetic fields, surveillance, reptilian subjects, atmospheric dispersal agents, or any other threat, perceived or real. The product descriptions are written in a deadpan voice consistent with the rest of this publication and should be read accordingly. If you are purchasing these items as protective equipment, we encourage you to reconsider. They are gifts, gags, and conversation pieces. They will not shield you from anything.
§4. Limitation of Liability
To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, The Theory Is Real and its parent entity, Specific Industries, disclaim all liability for damages arising from your use of this site or its products. This includes direct, indirect, incidental, and consequential damages, regardless of theory of recovery. Total liability, where unavoidable, is limited to the purchase price of the specific item at issue. We say this not to be adversarial but because the legal system requires it.
§5. Changes to These Terms
We update these terms when circumstances require it. Updates are effective upon publication. Continued use of this site after an update constitutes acceptance of the revised terms. We do not send individual notification of changes. The operative version is the one published here on the date you are reading it. We recommend periodic review. We are aware most people do not do this.
§6. Jurisdiction
These terms are governed by the laws applicable in Coconino County, Arizona, United States, without regard to conflict-of-law provisions. Any legal action arising from use of this site or its products shall be brought in the appropriate courts of Coconino County. You consent to personal jurisdiction in that venue by using this site. We selected this jurisdiction carefully and for reasons we are not prepared to discuss in this document.